Growing up wouldn't be so bad if bullies weren't involved. I just got back home from University and I already miss my friends and independence, and can't wait to go back in the fall. My youngest sister on the other hand can't wait to leave middle school. I understand how she feels. Middle school was the worst. I barely had any friends, I was really shy and I got bullied. Now my sister is going through the same thing and it just breaks my heart. I happened to go to the same middle school as her and know how mean people can be.
I'm taking a different route today from my normal fashion posts to address something very personal to me. Bullying.
What about adolescence and puberty makes kids want to be mean to each other? I literally can't comprehend why. Everyone is insecure but for some reason some decide to prey on the shy and weak to mask their insecurities.
I wish there was a way to stop bullying for sure. We've all seen the movies where the one kid rallies up all the other misfits and they stand up to the bully in the cafeteria and everyone applauds. But I have never seen that happen in real life. In real life people see what's going on and stand by, teachers too.
Everyone's too afraid.
I tried telling my sister to try to be nice to the other kids around her, stand up for herself, have allies but nothing seems to work and when I think about it...Did I solve my bullying problems? Or did they just go away after I went to high school?
I do remember trying out some things to say that my mom told me worked for her as a child but they didn't end up having the same effect for me.
But later on in high school I did learn to stand up for myself :It just took a little time. I think the thing about being bullied in middle school rather than as you get older is that you still don't know who you are and you're not confident in who you are, so you allow what people say about you to get to you.
Different strategies like shouting at a bully, surrounding yourself with friends, or telling a teacher can work for some people, but they may not work for everybody. When my family and I tell my sister to do these things, she simply can't. She's too shy to stand up for herself and ask for help, or try to make friends. It sounds so simple, but it really is very intimidating. I couldn't bring myself to talk to people or stand up for myself. I didn't believe in myself and the task seemed too daunting.
That's why it's so important to plant yourself in truth, to be firm in your identity so no one can shake you no matter what they say.
That is the secret to confidence.
If you don't know what's true about yourself, when someone says something to knock you down, you believe them.
"You're ugly" Maybe I am ugly.
"You're dark skin." Why are they bringing that up, is it bad, why am darker? I wish I was lighter.
"Haha no one likes her." No one likes me. I'm so unlikeable.
What helps me combat lies is to counter them with truth. That's something I've been learning lately and I usually find truth in scripture.
I'm too scared No I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
I'm ugly No I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
No one likes me No I have people in my life who care about me and God, who created me, loves me most of all, and I am precious to Him. Isaiah 43:4
Whenever someone comes at your with an insult or whether you think it yourself bring up these truths in your head. Memorize them. Believe them to be true because they are.
Whether you fight back or ignore, KNOWING that you are worthy
KNOWING that you are loved.
KNOWING that you are beautiful.
You WILL get through it.
This post is for my little sister. You'll get through it and God will stand by you through it all.